These Days....
Unbelievable. After two months of blog silence, I am finally able to sit down in front of my blog again. It seems that the older I get, the more the tendency for me to lick my wounds in private. They say that dogs when hurt would look for a safe, dark corner and only emerge once they are better. I never thought of myself as a dog, but yeah, went through some dog days myself. Haha. Oh the puns.
That so-called right-sizing near-killed me though I doubt anybody would guess. HR and J consoled me with their own version of my Buddha book. And I would have to agree. This is something only age, experience, and wisdom would bring. But yes, getting let go of IS a very valuable lesson. And it's something you would appreciate only years after the experience. If you don't get me, then you're not in your thirties. Haha again.
Today I blog due to some very interesting events. Again, it promised to be an ordinary day. (Hmmm... I notice that some very memorable days start out innocently enough while some days we look forward to with great expectation just fall flat like a popped balloon.) But now, I feel like I've been through the wringer.
Well, of course, there is the usual plethora of work. And D made me cry. I couldn't stop. Quite unusual for me. When we lost our house to the lahar, I cried a total of 5 minutes. But not this time. So yes, it was one for the blog. I had to take side trips to the bathroom many times. I stared at my dual monitors teary-eyed. I am telling you, I couldn't stop. What did he do? Did he curse at me? Break my bones? Steal my lunch money? Nothing like that. It was a very simple thing but it pained me because it was so unusual. D has always been decent to me. So why today? J says maybe he was just plain tired or stressed. Maybe. Or maybe he's listened too much to others rather than trusted what he's always known of me.
Friends, don't be afraid of difficult days. They will show you your truest friends. When everybody else doubts or abandons you, your true friends will be there shining as if from a spotlight.
Incidentally enough, twas the Angel Uriel who stopped the flow of tears. Not her intention I assure you which actually helped. We discussed the work process that actually triggered the thing with D and I felt better when I came up with a solution that I felt would work better. As simple as that.
Later I felt well enough to actually come up to D and be honest and blunt. How many people actually do that rather than talk behind somebody's back? The words I expressed would sound cheesy to anybody except that there's such a thing as context. Plus, my manner was very quiet and reasonable because with D, I can only be sincere.
For the life of me though, I can't reconstruct what I said. But whatever it was, it seemed to have got through to him because after, he called me over and helped me with the task.
Maybe tomorrow I will feel different and actually feel better. Human after all. When I walked past him several times to get to H (work-related, anything about work, I execute like a robot) I felt something dying and shrivelling. Maybe he's falling from the pedestal I put him in.
On to more trivial things, I was able to chat with L. J has scolded me for being so forward. What the hell, are we living in the Stone Age? Can't I innocently want to talk to somebody who appears interesting? It's touching though for J to care enough to scold. But anyway, I still say thank you Skype. Muah!
I float away to a gimik. But that's for tomorrow's post. Will get the happy pics. Goodnight you all!
That so-called right-sizing near-killed me though I doubt anybody would guess. HR and J consoled me with their own version of my Buddha book. And I would have to agree. This is something only age, experience, and wisdom would bring. But yes, getting let go of IS a very valuable lesson. And it's something you would appreciate only years after the experience. If you don't get me, then you're not in your thirties. Haha again.
Today I blog due to some very interesting events. Again, it promised to be an ordinary day. (Hmmm... I notice that some very memorable days start out innocently enough while some days we look forward to with great expectation just fall flat like a popped balloon.) But now, I feel like I've been through the wringer.
Well, of course, there is the usual plethora of work. And D made me cry. I couldn't stop. Quite unusual for me. When we lost our house to the lahar, I cried a total of 5 minutes. But not this time. So yes, it was one for the blog. I had to take side trips to the bathroom many times. I stared at my dual monitors teary-eyed. I am telling you, I couldn't stop. What did he do? Did he curse at me? Break my bones? Steal my lunch money? Nothing like that. It was a very simple thing but it pained me because it was so unusual. D has always been decent to me. So why today? J says maybe he was just plain tired or stressed. Maybe. Or maybe he's listened too much to others rather than trusted what he's always known of me.
Friends, don't be afraid of difficult days. They will show you your truest friends. When everybody else doubts or abandons you, your true friends will be there shining as if from a spotlight.
Incidentally enough, twas the Angel Uriel who stopped the flow of tears. Not her intention I assure you which actually helped. We discussed the work process that actually triggered the thing with D and I felt better when I came up with a solution that I felt would work better. As simple as that.
Later I felt well enough to actually come up to D and be honest and blunt. How many people actually do that rather than talk behind somebody's back? The words I expressed would sound cheesy to anybody except that there's such a thing as context. Plus, my manner was very quiet and reasonable because with D, I can only be sincere.
For the life of me though, I can't reconstruct what I said. But whatever it was, it seemed to have got through to him because after, he called me over and helped me with the task.
Maybe tomorrow I will feel different and actually feel better. Human after all. When I walked past him several times to get to H (work-related, anything about work, I execute like a robot) I felt something dying and shrivelling. Maybe he's falling from the pedestal I put him in.
On to more trivial things, I was able to chat with L. J has scolded me for being so forward. What the hell, are we living in the Stone Age? Can't I innocently want to talk to somebody who appears interesting? It's touching though for J to care enough to scold. But anyway, I still say thank you Skype. Muah!
I float away to a gimik. But that's for tomorrow's post. Will get the happy pics. Goodnight you all!
posted by Moth at 2:06 AM
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